This is another article in the series of my articles on decision making. In this article I am honing in seeking and providing unsolicited advice for decision making.

I was in a conversation with a colleague on a corporate governance matter in my organisation. We both were aware of the context and had the desired qualifications from Australian Institute of Company directors and expertise to deliberate on the matter.

Next to us was a project manager, turned productivity coach, listening into the conversation. We were given advice by her in a confident, I know it all manner. It was also a not so subtle way she was trying to sell her expertise to us.

She was certainly far removed from the context so was trying to make assumptions from whatever little she heard, overlay her expertise and solution to the problem and bring out the suggestion.

The challenges in the process giving and taking unsolicited advice

• Lack of complete context, this requires asking questions and listening to answers and reaching a deep meaningful and purposeful level of understanding. In an organisation we tend to communicate to ensure everyone is on the same page.

• Lack of empathy, sometimes the person stating the problem just needs to be heard and not necessarily needs a solution. Due to advent of social media, the conversations have gradually become transactional. We tend to focus on outcome whereas what we may seek is engagement.

• complete lack of accountability and/or respect, Seems a one way process, so either the person providing the advice does not take responsibility of consequent outcomes, or the person receiving it does not respect the advice such sought. I was at a restaurant when a friends toddler was almost going to poke himself in the eye with a fork he was playing with. A lady next to us pointed this out to the father who took the fork away from the kid and made sure he is safe. He gracefully thanked the lady, however was not happy with the situation where he had to take parenting advice from a complete stranger.

Unsolicited advice works like wearing a random stranger’s clothes, it does not feel right, it does not smell right, it does not belong to you and even if it fits perfectly and makes you look good, it ain’t yours.

You may shower it on loved ones or the ones that you care for and may be genuine and helpful, it may not be desired, required or needed.

It is good to rely on a network of friends, advisors and seek council, unless you live in a world of mutuality where givers and takers coexist, free advice could be treated worth what you paid for it - nothing and the subsequent decisions, worthless.

Best

Sbabbar